All Posts By

Jonathan Hoover

What Do You Think of Me?

By | Leadership, Life Challenges, Marriage, Ministry, Relationships | No Comments
A few nights ago, I was taking my wife to get a cup of coffee at the local Panera.  I was getting ready to turn left into the parking lot, but waiting for the traffic to clear, when I heard a horn honking from behind me.

As I looked in my rear view mirror, I could see a lady in the minivan motioning for me to move into what she obviously thought was a turning lane.  It wasn’t.  I had a double yellow line, and if I’d moved into the lane she was suggesting, I might have been in the path of oncoming traffic.

I quickly responded by glaring into the rear view mirror and giving this lady my best “Look lady, I’m following the laws of the road.  If you don’t like waiting on me to turn, why don’t you just go around?” face.  Somehow I don’t think she got the message.  She responded with her best “You’re an idiot” face.

This, of course, happened within the span of just a few seconds.  Very quickly, the cross lane cleared and I was able to turn into the parking lot and park.

What surprised me was how hard it was to let those few seconds go.  What if that lady did think I was an idiot?  I thought.

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After Betrayal: Does Forgiving Someone Mean You Have to Trust Them Again?

By | Conflict, Life Challenges, Marriage, Relationships | No Comments

“Forgive and forget” may be one of the most unfortunate phrases that has somehow seeped into our cultural dialogue.  It makes forgiving someone a very difficult (and potentially risky) task.  It asks the person who was harmed or betrayed to somehow make believe that one of the most terrible moments in their life didn’t happen.  In essence, to “forgive and forget” means that the offended party should somehow mentally undo the damage the other person has done.  Not only is this virtually impossible, it is unwise. Read More

Before You Say Yes…

By | Goals, Leadership, Life Challenges | No Comments
Don’t you love that feeling of a promising new opportunity?  There’s terrific excitement packed into that new job offer, new dating relationship, new house, or new business partnership.  But sometimes the excitement of new possibilities can eclipse our common sense. Read More

Book Review – The Entitlement Cure by Dr. John Townsend

By | Authors and Books, Book Reviews, Leadership, Life Challenges, Relationships | No Comments
A couple of years ago I was attending a one-week intensive training for counselors led by Drs. John Townsend and Henry Cloud.  Dr. Townsend was in the middle of a lecture when he mentioned that he was working on a new book.
“I’m writing a book about the fact that the hard way is usually the right way…” he said, “I’m going to address the issue of entitlement, and what it costs our lives, our families, and our culture.”
Immediately, I knew I had to get my hands on this book.  This topic was screaming to be addressed.  And I knew if anyone could do it well, it was Dr. Townsend.

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Here’s What Your Last Marital Fight Was About

By | Communication, Conflict, Life Challenges, Marriage, Relationships | 2 Comments
Imagine this… you’re at your local hospital being prepared for a major surgical operation.  The anesthesiologist activates the drug stream that will send you off to la-la land, as she asks you to count backwards from 100.  You float away on a pink cloud, and the operation begins.

An hour later, you wake up mid-procedure.  You’re in intense pain and you expect the surgeon to do something about it… right now.  You scream at him to do something.

Oblivious, and holding your spleen in his hands, he responds: “Gee, I don’t think you’re really awake.” Read More

How to Bounce Back After a Mistake

By | Goals, Leadership, Life Challenges | No Comments
I am personally convinced that one of the biggest differences between leaders and losers is what they do after they make a mistake.  Successful people manage to use their mistakes to go further in life.  They take a hard look at what each misstep can teach them, they learn those important lessons, adapt, grow, and become better at what they do.  Losers, on the other hand, fight the lessons that mistakes can teach.  Because they feel entitled to success, they struggle to embrace the reality of their failures.  We all fail.  The key to a powerful life lies in how we recover from failure.

 

So, how do you bounce back after a mistake?  Here’s five key steps that will get you back on your feet: Read More

But Dad Said…

By | Authors and Books, Communication, Conflict, Kids, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships | No Comments
Little Suzy asks her mother if she can have an ice cream sandwich before dinner.  Her mother says no.  In her motherly wisdom, she intuits that ice cream before dinner equals a child with no appetite for steamed broccoli.  Little Suzy is not happy with mom’s response, so she finds dad, who is in the middle of watching Monday night football.

She asks her dad if she can have the ice cream sandwich.  He, not being quite as aware of the potential nutritional apocalypse, and trying not to be distracted from the play action, says yes. Read More

What I Learned About Parenting from an Invisible Gorilla

By | Communication, Conflict, Kids, Life Challenges, Parenting, Relationships, Technology and Social Media | 2 Comments
I was watching TV the other night, paying attention to a documentary on a subject that I don’t even really care about, when my wife stepped between me and the big screen.  “Jonathan, Cheyenne’s been trying to get your attention… she’s called you twice.”

It turns out that my daughter had gone to her room, retrieved a craft that she had completed earlier in the day, brought it upstairs where I was watching TV, stood well within my line of site, said “Hey dad…” two times, and the truth is I didn’t hear her.  I didn’t even see her.  I was too absorbed in what I was watching. Read More

Book Review of The Argument-Free Marriage by Fawn Weaver

By | Book Reviews | No Comments
Having heard about “The Happy Wives Club,” and knowing Fawn Weaver’s reputation for championing the cause of happy, healthy marriages, I was extremely excited to get my hands on a copy of her new book “The Argument-Free Marriage” to review.

I hadn’t read much of Fawn’s writing before, but knew of her reputation for concise, understandable, direct, and beneficial writing on this topic.  I really wanted to love this book.  Sadly, I didn’t.  Read More