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Conflict

Is jealousy in marriage normal?

Is Jealousy in Marriage Normal – Part 2

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Part 2

Is it normal for your spouse to feel jealous even if you haven’t done anything wrong?  How do you respond to them when they are jealous?  And how do you best respond to the jealousy that can crop up in your own heart sometimes?  In this two-part blog post, I tackle these tricky issues.

Read Part 1 of This Post

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Five Questions that Will Make You Look Like a Communication Pro

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The best kept secret about how to communicate in a tense conversation is this: forward movement will usually happen because of something you hear, not because of something you say.

I have written in my books and on this blog about the fact that when conversations turn sharp, it usually ends in two people talking (sometimes very loudly) and no one listening.  Arguments and heated exchanges often do nothing to move the ball down the field, and do far too much to elevate your heart rate, blood pressure, and overall stress level.  And what’s the point of that? Read More

When You and Your Spouse Disagree About Politics

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It’s one thing to disagree with friends and co-workers about political issues, but what do you do when your spouse is rooting for something or someone that you can’t stand?

Here are a few ways to safeguard the heart of your relationship, and avoid a November marriage meltdown. Read More

The Defense Won’t Rest

By | Communication, Conflict, Life Challenges, Marriage, Relationships | 2 Comments
David and Stacy have a real challenge when it comes to communicating. Neither of them ever feel they are truly heard by the other. When they discuss points of conflict, they automatically default to arguing mode; they completely miss the opportunity to share their true feelings with each other. When they talk, defensiveness rules. They refuse to admit responsibility for causing their spouse pain, and instead, they place blame back on the other.

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the “Believer”

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Henry Ford changed the world.  He didn’t invent the automobile, but he figured out how to design, build, and mass-produce one that America could afford and wanted to drive.

He was undeniably brilliant, with a mind that seemed to be custom-built for the industrial age.  He was at once an inventor, designer, and production engineer.  If he hadn’t been a dreamer as well, he might have ended up just another cog in the fast-growing machine of industry.  But in the early days of Ford’s adult life, he did have a dream.  A big one.

When not at work, he spent endless hours in a little garage in which he and a few friends endlessly tinkered and experimented with the technologies they believed could combine to create a working prototype vehicle.  In those days, Ford was just another hobbyist, playing around with the dream of building a car.  He was not the billionaire captain of industry that we now think of when we think of Ford.  He was not internationally respected as a pioneer of mechanics.  He was just a man spending his evening hours mucking around in oil and grease, trying out ideas that might or might not lead to something. Read More

After Betrayal: Does Forgiving Someone Mean You Have to Trust Them Again?

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“Forgive and forget” may be one of the most unfortunate phrases that has somehow seeped into our cultural dialogue.  It makes forgiving someone a very difficult (and potentially risky) task.  It asks the person who was harmed or betrayed to somehow make believe that one of the most terrible moments in their life didn’t happen.  In essence, to “forgive and forget” means that the offended party should somehow mentally undo the damage the other person has done.  Not only is this virtually impossible, it is unwise. Read More

Here’s What Your Last Marital Fight Was About

By | Communication, Conflict, Life Challenges, Marriage, Relationships | 2 Comments
Imagine this… you’re at your local hospital being prepared for a major surgical operation.  The anesthesiologist activates the drug stream that will send you off to la-la land, as she asks you to count backwards from 100.  You float away on a pink cloud, and the operation begins.

An hour later, you wake up mid-procedure.  You’re in intense pain and you expect the surgeon to do something about it… right now.  You scream at him to do something.

Oblivious, and holding your spleen in his hands, he responds: “Gee, I don’t think you’re really awake.” Read More

But Dad Said…

By | Authors and Books, Communication, Conflict, Kids, Marriage, Parenting, Relationships | No Comments
Little Suzy asks her mother if she can have an ice cream sandwich before dinner.  Her mother says no.  In her motherly wisdom, she intuits that ice cream before dinner equals a child with no appetite for steamed broccoli.  Little Suzy is not happy with mom’s response, so she finds dad, who is in the middle of watching Monday night football.

She asks her dad if she can have the ice cream sandwich.  He, not being quite as aware of the potential nutritional apocalypse, and trying not to be distracted from the play action, says yes. Read More

What I Learned About Parenting from an Invisible Gorilla

By | Communication, Conflict, Kids, Life Challenges, Parenting, Relationships, Technology and Social Media | 2 Comments
I was watching TV the other night, paying attention to a documentary on a subject that I don’t even really care about, when my wife stepped between me and the big screen.  “Jonathan, Cheyenne’s been trying to get your attention… she’s called you twice.”

It turns out that my daughter had gone to her room, retrieved a craft that she had completed earlier in the day, brought it upstairs where I was watching TV, stood well within my line of site, said “Hey dad…” two times, and the truth is I didn’t hear her.  I didn’t even see her.  I was too absorbed in what I was watching. Read More