It turns out that my daughter had gone to her room, retrieved a craft that she had completed earlier in the day, brought it upstairs where I was watching TV, stood well within my line of site, said “Hey dad…” two times, and the truth is I didn’t hear her. I didn’t even see her. I was too absorbed in what I was watching. Read More
Hours later you’re watching one of your favorite shows, having completely forgotten your promise to contribute to the household chores and you hear the ominous sound of the vacuum cleaner turning on. You also hear the theme song from Jaws at the same time—but that might just be in your head.
You jump up and head for the dishwasher… at least if you stack that quickly, you will have kept 50% of your promise. But, alas, she has stacked it already. Oh yeah; she’s that good.
You know that there will be some tension now because of this. “You aren’t helping”… whatever that means. Read More
As one person is kind of explaining to me the gist of the battle, the other says… “You want to hear exactly what she said? I have it right here in my texts…” Read More
I was attending a conference in California, and sat down at a round lunch table between sessions and began a very enjoyable conversation with a couple of other attenders. Then, two others joined the table. The gentleman sat directly to my left, the lady, directly to my right. They were already deeply engaged in a rather intense (and loud) conversation.
I found myself a little closer to both of these individuals than I’d prefer, both sitting so close our elbows were almost touching, both leaning in to express their interest in each other’s thoughts and opinions. I sat there for a few strange moments, their faces uncomfortably close to mine, weighing my options. Should I offer to switch seats? Should I excuse myself and leave? Should I introduce myself? “Hi, I’m Jonathan… a person at the table…”
This blog post isn’t about the Boundaries book. I hope you own it, or have access to it and can learn what’s presented there. This blog post is about the backlash you should expect when you set a boundary with someone. Whether the person to which you must say no is 2 years old or 80, there is a fairly predictable response that you should expect and know how to handle. Read More
But difficult discussions are a part of life. Relationships come pre-installed with tension… that’s part of living in a broken world. As a result, we need to have a strategy for these kinds of conversations. We need a way of being confident in ourselves so that we can talk about the challenges that threaten relationships. Not dealing with the tension is not an option. That’s how relationships fall apart. Read More
If I’d never taken lessons to learn how to drive as a teenager, if I’d never been given tests requiring me to acknowledge the laws and regulations of our great state, if I’d never seen the posted speed limit signs fully understanding that the violation thereof would result in a ticket, I might drive my car as fast as possible all the time… after all, it would get me there faster. Read More