“Forgive and forget” may be one of the most unfortunate phrases that has somehow seeped into our cultural dialogue. It makes forgiving someone a very difficult (and potentially risky) task. It asks the person who was harmed or betrayed to somehow make believe that one of the most terrible moments in their life didn’t happen. In essence, to “forgive and forget” means that the offended party should somehow mentally undo the damage the other person has done. Not only is this virtually impossible, it is unwise. Read More
An hour later, you wake up mid-procedure. You’re in intense pain and you expect the surgeon to do something about it… right now. You scream at him to do something.
Oblivious, and holding your spleen in his hands, he responds: “Gee, I don’t think you’re really awake.” Read More
She asks her dad if she can have the ice cream sandwich. He, not being quite as aware of the potential nutritional apocalypse, and trying not to be distracted from the play action, says yes. Read More
Hours later you’re watching one of your favorite shows, having completely forgotten your promise to contribute to the household chores and you hear the ominous sound of the vacuum cleaner turning on. You also hear the theme song from Jaws at the same time—but that might just be in your head.
You jump up and head for the dishwasher… at least if you stack that quickly, you will have kept 50% of your promise. But, alas, she has stacked it already. Oh yeah; she’s that good.
You know that there will be some tension now because of this. “You aren’t helping”… whatever that means. Read More
I know that we’ve all gone security crazy over the past couple of decades, and it’s quite possible you’re thinking I’m nuts to suggest married couples share their account info. But security and privacy are two different things. If a person tells me that they aren’t sharing their internet accounts with their spouse because they have reason to believe their spouse will harm them in some way, that makes sense. You need to be safe.
But when a person tells me that they aren’t giving their spouse access to their Facebook account because they deserve their privacy, I’m calling a flag on the play. Read More
I’m 33, which means I’m just old enough to have watched the social media craze evolve from a clumsy and somewhat disorganized venture to a multi-billion dollar, technically mind-boggling machine. And perhaps, like me, you’re growing just a bit wary of what the long-term effects of this will be.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with social media, I maintain pages on both Facebook and Twitter, but like any communication and entertainment platform, there are risks. I could go into detail here, talking about the kinds of outcomes I’ve seen in those who’ve not set healthy limits with social media… outcomes like social media addiction, reduced work effectiveness, strained family relationships, diminished drive, disconnection from friends… and, of course, the list goes on. But you already know this. And I won’t bore you with more details and specifics. The research is certainly out there if you’re interested.
The key question is: if you choose to engage with social media, as most of us will, how can you maintain healthy boundaries so that you don’t find yourself telling a computer you want your life back? Here are a few thoughts about how you can do that. Read More