I’m 33, which means I’m just old enough to have watched the social media craze evolve from a clumsy and somewhat disorganized venture to a multi-billion dollar, technically mind-boggling machine. And perhaps, like me, you’re growing just a bit wary of what the long-term effects of this will be.
There’s nothing inherently wrong with social media, I maintain pages on both Facebook and Twitter, but like any communication and entertainment platform, there are risks. I could go into detail here, talking about the kinds of outcomes I’ve seen in those who’ve not set healthy limits with social media… outcomes like social media addiction, reduced work effectiveness, strained family relationships, diminished drive, disconnection from friends… and, of course, the list goes on. But you already know this. And I won’t bore you with more details and specifics. The research is certainly out there if you’re interested.
The key question is: if you choose to engage with social media, as most of us will, how can you maintain healthy boundaries so that you don’t find yourself telling a computer you want your life back? Here are a few thoughts about how you can do that. Read More
That’s what I saw on the lock screen of my phone among the list of subject lines of emails I’d missed earlier that day.
10,000 what!?! I could just imagine that some terrible person had hi-jacked my amazon account, picked an outrageously expensive item, and ordered 10,000. What on earth was I in for?
I could only imagine the doorbell ringing with my UPS delivery of 10,000 Apple watches, 10,000 bluetooth shower speakers, or 10,000 pairs of women’s yoga pants… I had already decided to call Amazon and straighten this out. “I didn’t order this stuff and I can’t afford to pay for it!” I would say.
All these thoughts flashed through my mind while I nervously fumbled around trying to unlock my phone to read the entire email. When I finally unlocked the screen, what I read made me smile in relief. The message expressed Amazon’s appreciation for my order of “10,000 Reasons,” a digital music file of Matt Redman’s contemporary Christian hit. I’d forgotten that I’d purchased the song the previous evening. In case you’re not familiar with the song, it has a line that speaks of the 10,000 reasons our hearts should find to bless the Lord.
The only problem was that in replacing the disposal, I learned that other parts of our under-sink plumbing needed replacing as well. Shut-off valves were corroded and non-functioning. When I replaced those, the old supply lines no longer fit. Thus, new lines became part of the project. Read More
I arrived bleary eyed, hungry, and aggravated. I looked at the clock… it was after midnight.
Why the Good Girl Loves the Bad Boy
It’s a staple in television and movie plots—the good girl finds herself tremendously attracted to the “bad boy.” You know the guy is trouble, she knows it too… and yet she falls head-over-heels in love. I think the reason those stories work in Hollywood is because we can identify with them. They happen in real life. And the genders can as easily be switched. Sometimes the good boy falls for the bad girl. Usually when that happens, good people get hurt. It doesn’t always spell the end of the world or the death of a relationship, but it’s a hard road.
This blog post isn’t about the Boundaries book. I hope you own it, or have access to it and can learn what’s presented there. This blog post is about the backlash you should expect when you set a boundary with someone. Whether the person to which you must say no is 2 years old or 80, there is a fairly predictable response that you should expect and know how to handle. Read More
But difficult discussions are a part of life. Relationships come pre-installed with tension… that’s part of living in a broken world. As a result, we need to have a strategy for these kinds of conversations. We need a way of being confident in ourselves so that we can talk about the challenges that threaten relationships. Not dealing with the tension is not an option. That’s how relationships fall apart. Read More